To be accountable
November 2, 2009 § 5 Comments
I like resolutions, though I hardly follow through unless they’re simple. Case in point: 10 lb throw down (bam! .. I really liked the bam! part) . I was doing all right on that (in terms of updating here), but a quick trip to London with my mom messed up my time frame, and it was so much easier to just forget about it. After all, who reads here anyway? It’s just me and a bunch of forgiving loveable tea ladies. PS – MSWord informs me that both “loveable” and “lovable” are proper dictionary entries.
However, I still declare spending bans, food boycotts, and other lifestyle rules for set periods of time. I enjoy imposing boundaries on my life. It gives me control. I love the idea of a resolution.
Here are a few failed examples from this year alone:
- weight loss throw down (10 lbs in 10 weeks – maybe lasted 5 weeks)
- bag ban (April to my birthday at the end of August – lasted to mid-July)
- 12 of 12 (12 photographs of your day on the 12th of each month – umm.. once? and attempted twice?)
- updating this blog? right….
- no more excess sugar (September – yeah..)
- frivolous purchase ban (Oct 12 to Nov 12 – Oct 23rd I bought a jade plant for $5, then spent $60 at LUSH the next day on my definition of staples.. and then bought that green pea coat at Old Navy with a 15% off coupon *sigh*)
I have good reasons excuses for breaking each of these resolutions, but what’s the point? It’s not like anyone put me up to any of these, so why can’t/won’t I follow through on a promise to myself? I have specific and reasonable goals. Maybe I figure if it’s just me, it doesn’t matter if I give into temptation. How do I hold myself accountable?
I do have successful examples (I’d almost consider the bag ban successful), and for the most part they all accomplish my original purpose for starting them (get out of the temptation of browing/shopping/buying, increase my savings accounts, gain muscle/lose weight, etc.). And a few years ago when I succeeded in all of my 2005 New Year’s Resolutions I came out a stronger student and a happier individual for it. In 2008 I lost 15 lbs in a couple months and haven’t gained it back. And, I have been walking ~30 miles a week since the end of August (my butt supports this statement).
But I still fail more than I succeed (or more than I’d like). How am I not worth it to myself? I can either resolve to resolve less (yesssss..) or develop more self-discipline.
I’ve never felt like a particularly well-disciplined person. I’ve never faced the challenges to develop it, and it’s always sooo much easier to not deal with issues. I guess I developed a little discipline in undergrad when I went from never needing to study and acing exams to needing to put some time in to get the grades I expected of myself.
So I started writing this to introduce a new resolution, but will instead sign off back where I started, but happy to take advice.
(and maybe if I start posting here enough I can complete a successful resolution :) :) .. or maybe I’ll just try one because you can’t succeed if you don’t try!)
PS – I think I just failed in writing a blog post with a point.. but I did get some ideas out there.